As an American Consumer I expect to be able to buy the things I need when I need them, where I expect them to be sold.

I have to say though, that lately the local economy has been letting me down.

There are three products that I’d like to buy but nobody will sell them to me because they are all evidently VERY RARE in today’s retail environment. I could probably buy them all online but I’d rather not pay for shipping or wait for them to arrive. Remember, I’m an American and I need things yesterday.

Arm & Hammer Easy Flush Cat Litter

I’ve been to so many pet stores trying to track this stuff down that I think I’ve actually developed allergies in the process.

Nobody has my litter in stock. They all have that crappy ass “throw it in the trash can” clay litter and crystals and what-have-you, but nobody carries flushable litter and the people that do are perpetually out of stock. My own stockpile at home is running dangerously low and my litter rationing can only last so long before bad things happen to my carpets and furniture.

Why isn’t all litter flushable to begin with? Seems like a no-brainer, right?

Lava Soap

My hands never really get too dirty, but when they do I wish I had Lava soap on hand. (pun!)

I can’t find Lava soap anywhere. The grocery store, Target, even Home Depot…nobody carries it!

Here’s a fun story. A few years ago I ran out of soap in the shower and all I could find was a bar of Lava.

It felt like I was rubbing a clump of green clay all over my body. Halfway through I wanted to vomit.

When I got out of the shower I felt dirtier.

No, Lava soap is not a good idea for showers. Or baths either, I’d imagine.

Trader Vic’s Mai Tai Mix

I’ve had Mai Tais before, and I’ve made my own with generic mixes… But I’ve never had the original. And if Trader Vic’s crappy product distribution keeps up, I never will.

Even Beverages & More, the mecca of all things alcohol, doesn’t carry Trader Vic’s. Vic invented the Mai Tai. You’d think it’d be the de-facto Mai Tai mix and therefore available everywhere.

Not so!

If anyone knows a reliable source for any of these products in the north-eastish Orange County area, I’d love to know about them. Help restore my faith in America. And God Bless.

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